Social activity

An article for relatives of people affected by depression.

One of the main symptoms of a depressive disorder is a lack of motivation. However, getting active can help speed up recovery. Experts agree that social activities such as going for walks together or playing team sports are particularly effective.

However, the decision to engage in social activities often requires a double effort. Many patients report that, in addition to a general lack of motivation to engage in activities, they also have additional fears about social contact.

Worry about being judged by others

“I know that my friends think positively of me, but I still see the looks on their faces when I tell them that I didn’t get up until noon or that I stayed in my pyjamas all day,” reports one patient. “That makes me lose the desire and the courage to tell them everything honestly.”

No desire to be pushed

When interacting with depressed people, relatives and friends try to do what helps with “normal sadness”: they motivate, push and persuade them. They treat a depressed person as if it were all a question of personal motivation.
This behaviour is logical and completely understandable if you are not sufficiently informed about depression as a clinical condition. However, well-meaning words can still hurt those affected and cause them to avoid contact.
A patient reports: “If my friends knew how much energy it takes me to go shopping or vacuum the house! Anyone who hasn’t experienced how insurmountable it feels to get yourself up to do chores or any kind of activity simply can’t imagine it.”

Fear of not being able to give enough

Relationships are based on give and take. It is challenging for patients to maintain this balance. On the one hand, they increasingly feel that they have nothing to give and little leeway when the other person demands attention or support. On the other hand, the negative self-image that is more pronounced during a depressive episode can also lead to self-reproach and harsh self-judgement. Neither of these leaves you feeling good.

Recommendation: Understanding the illness and communicating authentically

For all of the challenges mentioned above that people with depression face in terms of social activities, the same recommendation applies to you as a loved one: try to develop an understanding of your loved one’s situation and symptoms and talk authentically about your thoughts!
Those who are familiar with the illness are better able to help those affected and pass on their knowledge to others. At the same time, someone who is shown understanding for their situation will be less likely to judge themselves harshly. A more “gracious” self-image leads to a more relaxed situation overall and thus to less pressure in social situations.
Those affected also benefit from comprehensive information about their illness. Time that they might otherwise spend brooding over questions such as “Is this normal?” can now be focused on their own needs and self-care, without avoiding challenges. This makes it easier to fulfil a basic human need: the need for social interaction.

At edupression, we want to help by providing well-thought-out information about depression and techniques for coping with the condition.